“Reality
leaves a lot to the imagination.” - John Lennon
How many times have we
told ourselves in complete earnestness, “I’m going to be more organized and
productive from now on.”? Or that the diet starts tomorrow? Or that we’re going
to make a real effort to exercise now?
Only to have that
enthusiasm fizzle away, and all our best intentions come to nothing?
It’s the most common
thing in the world (besides bacteria) — the honest and fervent desire for
self-improvement, followed by inaction or giving in to temptations, followed by
guilt or giving up. Bridget Jones captured it best, writing her constant
resolutions into her diary. “Will definitely go to the gym this afternoon.”
Only to be followed by a binge of pastries followed by drinking and smoking.
We’re all Bridget
Jones. It happens to the best of us. It’s inertia at work, mixed with a bit of
laziness as well as the very human trait of giving in to desires despite all
the good intentions in the world.
So how do we beat
inertia and temptations? Four basic ways, really:
- Get moving, a bit at a time. Inertia is beat only by movement. Once you get going,
momentum builds up and inertia is no longer a factor. So the key is to get
started, and you do that not by trying to go from 0 to 60 in 5 seconds,
but by trying to go from 0 to 5mph in a day or two. That’s doable. It’s
all about baby steps. Once you get going, you’re golden.
- Be accountable.
Laziness, the second culprit, is beat by a bit of public pressure. We all
get lazy from time to time (or, to be more honest, all the time), and
there’s nothing wrong with that. But to beat laziness, we must apply a bit
of pressure, in the form of accountability. There’s nothing wrong with a
little pressure, as long is it’s not overdone. Pressure is a motivating
thing, especially when it’s positive. Positive pressure includes
encouragement from family or friends, an online forum, a help group in
your neighborhood, or the readers of your blog.
- Ignore failures — giving in to temptation is OK. We will always give in to temptation. Plan for it,
accept it, move on. There’s no need to beat yourself up.
- Motivate yourself.
Most importantly, you want to really want it. It’s not enough to feel
pressure to do something — you have to really desire it. I mean, really
desire it, not just think it’s something you should do, or that you’ll be
a better person for doing it. If pressure gives you the push toward your
goal, motivation gives you the pull.
Given those strategies
for beating the obstacles to making your desires become reality … how do we
implement them? How do we go from theory to actual action steps? Easy. Seven
simple steps, that you can do today. Really. Do them today.
1. Make a date. Right
now. All the good
intentions in the history of the universe mean nothing if you don’t actually
get started. And the only way to get started is to take action, right now. Not
tomorrow, not later today, not in an hour, not when you finish reading this
article. Right now! Look at your calendar, and make an appointment to create
your action plan, or to take the first action (“Go walking at 5:30 p.m. today
in the park,” for example). What’s the first action you can take to make your
desires a reality? Create a healthier meal plan for tomorrow? Create a place
for everything you use at work, so your organizing system doesn’t fall apart in
two day? Decide what that is and make an appointment for it, right now. Second
part of this step: make that appointment the most important appointment on your
schedule, more important than a doctor’s appointment or a meeting with your
boss.
2. Set a small,
achievable goal. Remember, inertia is
a powerful force. If you haven’t been exercising for a couple years, it’s hard
to get started. You’re used to the way things are, and even if you want to
change, it’s difficult. So don’t start out trying to conquer the world. Just
conquer something exceedingly small. It might sound wimpy to say, “I’m going to
walk for 10 minutes” or “I’m going to do 10 pushups and 1 chinup”, but those
are much more likely to beat inertia than, “I’m going to exercise for 45
minutes today.” Be realistic, and make it very very achievable. It’s the only
way to beat inertia.
“Try not. Do or do not.
There is no try.” - Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back
3. Commit thyself, big
time. It’s this commitment
that will keep you going after you overcome inertia. Sometimes we get filled up
with enthusiasm, but then a few days later, that enthusiasm wanes and we submit
to our old buddy laziness. Now, I’m not anti-laziness — just the opposite, I
assure you — but we can’t let it stop us from making our dreams come true. So
instead, make a commitment, publicly. State your small, achievable goal, and
tell it to as many people as you can. Call or email friends and family, tell
all your coworkers, join an online forum related to your goal and tell all of
them. Put it on your blog. However you do it, make sure people are aware of
your goal, and that there’s sufficient pressure to overcome laziness.
4. Baby steps, baby. Again, inertia is a very strong force. I’ve
said it before, but this is a very important step here: the best way to change
is through baby steps. One small step at a time. Don’t try to bite off too
much. How is this different from the above step, setting a small and achievable
goal? It’s the same concept, but extended beyond the initial goal. It’s taking
things one little goal at a time, a bit at a time. For example, let’s say you
want to run a marathon, but currently your running regimen consists of running
to the bathroom during commercial breaks while you’re watching Lost. So
do you go out and start a marathon training plan? Nope. You start by walking 10
minutes a day. Then, when that becomes a habit and too easy, walk 15 minutes.
Then 20, then 30. Then jog a minute, walk a couple minutes, jog a minute, and
so on, for those 30 minutes. Then jog 90 seconds, and so on, until you’re
running for 30 minutes. Do these steps a week or two at a time, so that all of
a sudden, you’re running for 45 minutes every other day … and you barely
noticed the progression. That’s the way you get to a goal … small progressions
that are barely noticeable. Not by killing yourself the first day out.
“Seventy percent of
success in life is showing up.” - Woody Allen
5. Hold thyself
accountable. You’ve committed
yourself publicly … but it’s not enough to tell people your goal. You have to
make it clear that they must hold you accountable to reporting to them your
progress. Then report your progress to them regularly. Daily is better than
weekly. Reporting to them makes sure that you will think twice about being lazy
and forgoing your action plan.
6. Motivate yourself. We’ve already discussed accountability and
commitment, which are ways to put positive pressure on yourself — a form of
motivation. Those are great, but you also want other types of motivation. You
want to find ways to make your progress feel great … either through rewards, or
the positive way you feel about your progress, or the positive way you feel
when others see how well you’re doing. Find a few different ways to motivate
yourself — the more the better. Incorporate these into your plan. Tell people
about them. Let them help push you along.
7. Just keep doing it,
no matter what. You’ll encounter
obstacles, and falter and fall. Just get up and keep going. You’ll face
temptations and give in. That’s OK. Just keep going. You’ll make mistakes and
get discouraged. No matter … just keep going. Learn from your mistakes, and …
keep going. No matter what happens, keep going. If you’re taking baby steps,
you’re holding yourself accountable, and you’re actually doing something,
you’ll get there.
“Reality is merely an
illusion, albeit a very persistent one” - Albert Einstein
http://zenhabits.net/7-steps-to-turn-your-self-improvement-desires-into-reality/
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