10 Confessions I Have About My Choice To Finally Be Happy

I’ve encountered two types of people in this world: those who choose to be happy and those who choose to be unhappy.

The wisest, strongest and most loving people you will ever meet are those who feel the pain of failure, rejection, defeat and heartbreak, but somehow find the way out from the depths of despair.

These kinds of people have a sense of appreciation, sensitivity and empathy for others and an overall understanding of life. They are happy.

Unhappiness lies in the breach between what we think we need and what we currently have. The greater part of our happiness or unhappiness depends on our outlook toward challenges that come our way. We all have one life to live and it’s a personal choice how we choose to live it.

These are my 10 confessions regarding my happiness choice:

1. I have blamed people for my unhappiness.

When things went downhill, I always used to blame others for how I felt. I blamed them for hurting me or leaving me or simply not making enough of an effort.

The reality is, I am in control of my own feelings; I choose to feel the way I do. Once I realized this, I started to take responsibility for my emotions, beginning with my confessions and ending with my lifelong lessons.

 

2. I have failed countless times.

I can’t even remember how many times I have failed. I kept trying and trying, and eventually, it got to the point that I felt defeated.

The thing about life is that nothing comes easily. We must work hours, days, years to get to where we want to be.

I’ve learned that it’s better to try and fail than not try at all. One day, all your hard work and efforts will be worth it.

 

3. I have let someone I love go.

It hurts to know you loved someone so much, you had to let him or her go. Whether the person broke your heart or vice versa, you simply knew it wasn’t healthy to have this person in your life any longer.

But, isn’t that what love is all about? You can’t force someone you love to stay with you if he or she doesn’t want to do so.

Just because someone is not physically in your life doesn’t mean he or she isn’t on your mind or in your heart. Letting go of someone is NOT the end of life. Rather, it is the beginning of an understanding that love sometimes leaves but never without a lesson.

 

4. I have judged people.

We all follow different moral codes, so when we do encounter someone who does not fit our individual standards and beliefs, we pass judgments without knowing the whole story.

Accepting a person is a choice, and I’ve come to realize that knowing the whole story makes me happy.

 

5. I have felt alone and miserable.

It’s easy to look around and notice people around you thriving. But, let’s dig a little deeper. Life is not perfect and the people who live it aren’t, either.

We all struggle in our own ways. Just like life, these feelings are temporary, and it’s up to you to change your outlook.

Someday, all the pieces will come together; good things will come your way, even if things don’t turn out how you want. You’ll look back someday, smile and ask yourself, “How the hell did I get through this?”

 

6. I have lived in the past.

Have you ever replayed the past over and over again? It’s like you’ve hit an iceberg and are just stuck.

You keep trying to compare your past to your present, but the thing is, while it’s great to look back, the key is the present. Living in the moment but knowing life is a mystery is what makes life… life.

The secret to happiness is allowing things to unfold on their own. Let go of your past and set yourself free. Stop comparing everything and everyone to your past. Keep an open mind and heart to new people, relationships and experiences.

 

7. I have been insecure and afraid of losing something/someone.

I’ve spent time worrying about losing people, and due to my own insecurities and fears, I had pushed people away. Free yourself of all fears. Don’t be afraid to lose something or someone because if you try to stick to any person, thought, or object, you are more likely to lose it.

I’ve learned that the very moment you let go of fear, you will attain freedom and confidence.

 

8. People I truly love have hurt me, and I have hurt people I truly love.

We are bound to make mistakes and hurt the people we love. After all, we are human. I’ve learned that the pain is a part of growing stronger and wiser. Perfection does not exist and when we realize that, we will start to forgive ourselves.

Most importantly, forgiveness is also the simple awareness that there is actually nothing that requires forgiving. We are perfectly imperfect humans who hurt, love, grow and learn.

 

9. I have had expectations of certain people.

As a result of this, I have also been disappointed. As human beings, we are competitive and selfish. We are all in it for ourselves, which is why the only person from whom you should expect things is yourself.

I’ve learned to create expectations regarding how I choose to live my life. You might not always get what you want, but you will get what you expect.

 

10. I have wanted to die.

I recall times when I have broken down, and it feels like everything bad happening all at once. I have felt so low, to the point that I wondered whether life was worth living. This is my last confession and the most important lesson I want to pass on.

You are blessed with this unpredictable life and it is up to you how you choose to live it. Life can be horrid or beautiful. It’s bold or scary. It’s sad or happy. It’s what YOU make of it.

The sign of a happy person is a choice he or she chooses to make despite the struggles he or she faces. I choose to be happy. What do you choose?

http://elitedaily.com/life/10-confessions-type-person-will-choose/842552/

Fifteen Seconds That Change The World

Fifteen Seconds That Change The World

To activate our happiness in a simple, fast and effective way, all we have to do is just be happy for fifteen seconds. It's easy! Each of us is able to do so at any time. Fifteen seconds are affordable for any person. Let's do it when we feel good and when we feel no good; when we are happy and when we are no happy; when we are awake and when we are no awake.

The best time, however, is when we feel that no happiness is taking or has already taken possession of us. This is the perfect moment of choice and transformation that changes the world. Here and now, for fifteen seconds, we wedge happiness in our being and are happy. And those fifteen seconds pull another fifteen for sure, because to be happy, as constant dimension of awareness, is more beautiful than to be no happy.

It's true that no happiness has a romantic charm, but it's also true that it's pleasant for a ride every now and then, before coming back to our present state of permanent happiness. All emotions are beautiful, enjoyable and existing, and this simply means that there are emotions, regardless of reasons, meanings and labels that we can add to them. Emotion, in its complex variety of manifestation, is also part of what is.

When we feel an emotion, which is a component of the universal, it comes as a wave of energy that passes through us, flowing into the inner space of our consciousness, overwhelming, activating, neutralizing and eating us. But it's a flow, and if we let it pass, it comes and goes. If it remains, it's because we cling to it, we identify with it, we become part of it and we let ourselves be carried away by it. And if we do, it is because we love it.

Who does not like emotions? We all love emotions! We like to try them out and be possessed; we clone and evoke and deny them when they're too intense. The point is to ride them and not to be ridden, simply because, if that happens, we lose the rest of the cosmic show with all its other wonders that come and go. The maximum fun is to enjoy them, when they pass through, without wanting to take possession and then be able to identify.

Consciously, activate your happiness as soon as you wake up, when you feel you need it and when you feel you don't. Elevate your energy and feel good, even if your current community fashion is the one of no happiness. To those asking you why you're happy, you can always say that being happy is better than being no happy. Only fifteen seconds of happiness and we are able to leap completely, and in a moment, to the dimension we like the most and always chase, that of happiness.
Dr. Andrea Scarsi is a metaphysician, meditation teacher, and author devoting his life to sharing the supreme understanding through direct teaching and books he writes on the subject of spirituality. He's based in Italy and India, and moves around the world when invited or following a universal call. You can check out one of his websites at: The Secret Of Metaphysical Science, where he indicates simple and everyday ways to happily establish your daily spiritual practice.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Andrea_Scarsi

 

7 Crazy Mistakes We Make in the Pursuit of Happiness

7 Crazy Mistakes We Make in the Pursuit of Happiness

 

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.  You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”
―Albert Camus

Let’s face it.  Every time you turn around, you find new advice on being happy.  Books promising to reveal the true secret of happiness.  Blog posts telling you, “Write down three things that make you happy today.”  Friends saying, “Move on!” and, “Cheer up!” after you’ve had a bad day.

And maybe you’re wondering… what’s wrong with that?

Happiness is a good thing right?  Well, yes.  Of course it is.

But we are being taught that our lives should be a straight and narrow path toward happiness.

We are taught that we should strive for happiness, and happiness alone in everything we do.

And that if we’re not always feeling happy, then something is terribly wrong.

The truth is, happiness should not be our only focus, and continuously striving for it, to the detriment of everything else, can actually cause us to make lots of mistakes.  Here are seven such mistakes, and how to fix them:

1.  We view setbacks and growing pains as failures.

When we actively pursue happiness, anything that makes us feel unhappy can seem like a failure – such as a simple setback or challenging moment – when in reality these things are unavoidable, normal parts of personal growth.  Sometimes it’s just easier to feel depressed and trapped by these experiences and let them get the best of us.

Think about a time in your life when you faced a challenge.  Maybe you lost your job, were betrayed by a friend, or got rejected by a loved one.  How did you respond to this?  Did you feel like a victim, or did you embrace it as an opportunity to grow as a person and learn something valuable?

If you’re like most people (including myself), you probably struggled to have a positive attitude at the time, and the situation was probably incredibly hard to deal with.

And the truth is, challenges are never easy.

However, setbacks and challenging moments in life are also opportunities in disguise for something bigger and better.  If we can learn to appreciate and embrace them equally to the moments that make us feel happy, we can more easily see the light in our darkest moments, push through these difficult times and make the most of every opportunity to heal and grow.

2.  We get addicted to short-term, quick fixes of pleasure.

In our impatience to find happiness, we often seek pleasure instead because it’s easier to achieve in the short-term.

This can cause us to rely on pleasurable experiences in an unhealthy way.  For example, we might actually find ourselves feeling anxious if we don’t have anything to look forward to, such as an exciting vacation in the near future.

But relying on pleasurable experiences as a means to happiness will only leave us always wanting more – much like a drug where we become an addict to our next fix. Because pleasure is short lived and offers no sense of deep fulfillment.

“The pleasure-centered person, too soon bored with each succeeding level of “fun”, constantly cries for more and more.  So the next new pleasure has to be bigger and better, more exciting, with a bigger “high.”
―Steven Covey

Long-lasting happiness is not found in quick doses of pleasure, but rather through meaningful experiences over time, such as nurturing a passion, overcoming hardships, learning new life skills, and making a difference by enriching the lives of others.  (Read The How of Happiness.)

3.  We neglect the amazing people around us.

Deliberately striving for happiness can also lead us to be self-centered – “I want happiness and I want it now!” – instead of achieving happiness over time through meaningful experiences and service to a greater cause.

In this case, where the focus is only on today’s must-have dose of happiness, we become more of a taker rather than a giver.  We focus all of our attention on ourselves – me, me, me – so our immediate desires are more easily met, instead of considering new ways to make a rewarding, lasting difference in our lives and the lives around us.  We prioritize our pursuit over all the people – family, friends and strangers – who need us.

The truth is, making a difference by giving to others is actually one of the greatest ways that we can find happiness.  There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.  It gives us a greater sense of meaning, purpose and fulfillment and often makes us feel much more content with our lives and who we are as individuals.

“If you want happiness for an hour – take a nap.  If you want happiness for a day – go fishing.  If you want happiness for a month – get married.  If you want happiness for a year – inherit a fortune.  If you want happiness for a lifetime – help others.”
―Chinese proverb

4.  We let our expectations sap the joy out of genuine experiences.

Think about a time when you were looking forward to something.  Maybe it was as simple as a nice walk on the beach with your partner, or perhaps a vacation you had been planning.

When the time finally came, did you find yourself getting completely lost in the experience and having a great time, or were you scatter-brained with expectations of how the experience was “supposed to be,” and thus subconsciously feeling somewhat disappointed?

Too often we become so determined to feel happy in a certain way, that we end up focusing too much on whether an experience is meeting our expectations.

But studies show that people who do certain activities with a specific set of expectations, or who monitor how much they are enjoying themselves every step of the way, end up actually enjoying themselves less than those who simply let go and focus on immersing themselves in the experience.

Rather than striving for happiness through the expectation of how things should be, try to accept whatever experiences come your way.  That way, you’ll be able to appreciate and more easily notice all the positive things around you as opposed to feeling disappointed when things don’t measure up to fantasies.

5.  We give up amazing opportunities that require temporary discomfort.

Think about a time in your life when you went through a tough but rewarding experience.

Perhaps you took on a challenging project.  Do you remember feeling a great sense of anxiety telling you that you would fail, but you didn’t?

And as a result, not only did you achieve something amazing, you also opened up an array of new opportunities for yourself, became a little bit wiser, and gained a greater sense of self-confidence.

Well, it just shows us that if we want to discover new and interesting opportunities in life, it’s not possible to feel happy every moment along the way.  A little discomfort is necessary medicine.  As they say, opportunity is missed by most people simply because it’s dressed in overalls and looks like hard work.  Don’t be one of these people.  (Read The Last Lecture.)

6.  We look for happiness in the wrong places.

A 24/7 obsession with finding happiness can cause us to focus on the wrong things, because we’re often poor judges of what will make us happy.

For example, we might think that buying a new house, being popular and having a certain amount of money will make us happy, so we strive relentlessly for them, but in reality, when we finally get these things, we still feel like something is missing.

It’s the old “I’ll be happy when I’ve got X” syndrome.  Except when you get X, you realize it’s not everything you expected.  It never is.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Perhaps it’s because we are constantly being sent messages from society and popular media telling us that X, Y & Z will make us happy.  We hear, “If you’re slim you’ll be happy,” or, “If you have the latest technology you’ll be happy,” or, “If you’re rich or popular you’ll be happy.”  And because we’re so obsessed with finding happiness, we buy into it.

The truth is, these things don’t lead to a deep sense of happiness, and we’re often poor judges by believing they will.  True happiness comes from within yourself, not from something or someone else.  Don’t make the mistake of waiting on something or someone to come along and make you happy.

7.  We tie our happiness to the futile idea of perfection.

Oftentimes, when we strive for happiness, what we are really aiming for is to feel perfect.

But perfection is an illusion.

We are beautifully imperfect beings, operating in a very imperfect world, and that is just the way it’s meant to be.  Striving for perfection is a hollow goal, one that can never be achieved.

Society shows us doctored images of perfection constantly in marketing and popular media.  Do not buy into this illusion; it will only lead you into darkness.  Embrace your quirks, your flaws and the fact that life is a roller coaster at times.  Strive for excellence, have high standards… but never confuse that with the crippling behavior of perfectionism.

Rather than striving to be perfect, embrace and appreciate all the beautiful, natural imperfections of life, and use these things to grow stronger, wiser, and more whole as an individual.  (Marc and Angel discuss this in detail in the “Self-Love” chapter of 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

The secret to a fulfilling life is wholeness, not happiness

Pursuing wholeness comes down to accepting and embracing all aspects of life – sadness, frustration, pain, failure and happiness, as well as realizing that all these things are equally as important for a balanced, fulfilling and truly happy experience.

It’s about understanding that life is not just a bowl of cherries, and that in order to grow and learn, we rely on the harsh realities of life.

In fact, even though it’s hard, we need to be grateful for these things.

Rather than trying to hide from adversities, we need to embrace them…

Because we know that they will make us stronger, more passionate, motivated, versatile, confident, resilient, capable and ultimately more whole as individuals – as well as adding more meaning and deeper fulfillment to our lives.

“Everyone says we grow through pain and as soon as they experience it they say, ‘Quick!  Move on!  Cheer up!’  Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all those things which make us who we are.”
―Hugh Mackay

How to strive for wholeness

In order to get the most out of your pursuit for wholeness, the following are some key things to do in your daily life:

• Embrace rather than avoid life’s adversities.  Laugh at your mistakes and learn from them.  Joke about your troubles and gather strength from them.  Have fun with the challenges you face and then conquer them.
• Rather than shutting out or suppressing negative emotions, allow yourself to really feel them, so you can deal with them.  Take full, unhindered control of your emotions, so your emotions do not control you behind your back.
• Find peace with yourself and your past.  Rather than remaining angry or hurt throughout your life, choose to forgive yourself and others, and try to actually appreciate the experiences for what they have taught you.
• Proactively identify knowledge gaps in your life experience and take steps to fill them, even if it requires you to stretch your comfort zone.
• Shift some of your attention away from what you want, and refocus it on what others need.

Will you choose wholeness over happiness?

When you choose to actively seek wholeness, your life will feel much more fulfilling.

You will feel more satisfied and happy with your life, because rather than feeling burdened by life’s challenges, you will be on a constant journey of growth and discovery.  Everything, good or bad, will move you forward.

Instead of feeling like a victim in life, you will be able to appreciate and value everything that comes your way.  After all, you’re not a victim.  You’re a strong human being.  You have an interesting life, and it is magnificent.  Keep this in mind, and live it accordingly.

And while you’re out there doing your thing, you will also learn to love, accept and understand yourself better as you learn to overcome the brokenness inside you.

I challenge you to choose wholeness from today onward.

The next time you feel sad or disappointed, don’t try to shut it out or distract yourself from it.  Instead, accept it as who you are, be okay with it and allow it to add new layers of understanding and awareness to your life.

Your turn…

What else would you add to this list?  What mistakes have you made in the pursuit of happiness?  How have you coped?  Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights.

Photo by: mariagiulia | nozzi

http://www.marcandangel.com/2014/10/08/7-crazy-mistakes-we-make-in-the-pursuit-of-happiness/

The Four Principles of Happiness

 

There comes a time in every person’s life when they have to decide if they are where they want to be or if they want to work towards getting to where they want to be. They also have to figure out if they even know what success truly is. I’ve had to examine these questions myself. Let’s talk about it.

How do we get to be where we want to be? What is success? Success is a subjective subject for most people. Some people consider success, having a job and being able to pay their bills, while others consider success, having a lot of money and other material things. Others, still, consider success living a social life with friends and loved ones.

Success is none of those things and all of those things, all at the same time. Real success comes in the form of happiness. Simply, if a person isn’t happy, they aren’t successful. One could even say that success is a byproduct of happiness. What is happiness, you may ask? It took me a long time to figure out the answer to that question. Like most things in life, discovering the answer was a process, it didn’t happen all at once.

It was six years after I graduated college. Up to this point, I had worked every miserable and, to me, demeaning job, I would want to work in one lifetime. Call centers, delivering pizzas, retail; jobs that made me want to tie a rope around my neck and step off of the bar stool. I had just been released from a big box retail chain and was in the job market for about two or three months. I happened upon an ad for a Network Administrator position. So, I applied for the job and got called for an interview. By this time, in my life, I had mastered how to do an interview, so I wasn’t nervous. Long story short, I got the job. It took me six long years to get a job in my field of study, but I did it.

This job came with it all. It was decent pay, I was doing what I wanted to do, and above all, I had my own office. I tell you what, it may not seem like much to some, but having your own office is where it’s at. Despite this, I still wasn’t happy. Sure, I enjoyed my work and didn’t have to worry about money, but these are external things. Happiness isn’t external, it’s internal. Discover the internal and it will become eternal.

I had to take a step back and stop looking at the outside circumstances and material aspect of life, and look inside myself. Most days, I hate myself. I don’t hold myself in high esteem. As a result, I hate everyone around me. Sometimes, I look at others and become envious of what they have, whether it be looks, money, power, whatever. This mentality, obviously, is the antithesis of happiness.

In order to be happy, you have to understand a number of things, I’ll call these The Four Principles of Happiness:

1. Life and being are two different things.

Being is a constant. We are human beings. This means that we will be who we are, no matter what happens. Life is a variable. In our lives, unexpected things happen all the time. We can’t prepare for everything. What we can do is not let life affect our being. When we do that, we upset the applecart and everything becomes frustrating. Life is the waves in the ocean of being. Sometimes, that ocean is calm and other times there are storms brewing. Keep yourself calm and take those waves until waters are calm again and continue to sail on.

2. You can only control yourself.

This might seem like common sense, but to some it’s not. Namely, me. For a lot of people, a huge amount of stress can be alleviated by understanding this principle. If someone spends their life trying to control someone else, they are living a life of futility. When I came to realize and accept that I can only dictate my own actions and not somebody else, it felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. This can come in many forms: spouses trying to control the other spouse, parents trying to control children, friends trying to control other friends. At the end of the day, people are going to do what they are going to do. Only you are going to do what you want to do, so just focus on that and really, that’s all that is important.

3. Understand stress.

Notice I didn’t say avoid stress. In a fantasy world, there is no stress and everyone lives happily ever after. Here’s something that will blow your hair back, though, we don’t live in a fantasy world. Also, avoiding stress will just end up causing more stress. The key to stress, is to understand it and embrace it. When you are at the point of knowing what stress is, accepting it, and being able to deal with it accordingly, it no longer feels like stress. If you want to talk about bliss, some would consider not feeling stress, pure bliss. I’m saying this matter of factly, in truth, this is a hard concept to master. Buddhists spend their lives practicing this philosophy of nirvana, so don’t expect it to come easily. I’m still learning how to deal with it.

4. Happiness is for everyone.

Some people think that they will never find happiness. As long as someone thinks that, it will be true. Everyone should know that they are entitled to happiness and if they follow the guidelines that I’ve talked about and numerous other people have talked about, they can achieve it. It’s not easy, and it’s not going to happen overnight. You have to keep working at it, like anything. Just like those six years I kept trying to get a job doing what I thought I wanted to do, keep chiseling away at the things that keep you from reaching an understanding and happiness that few people know exist.

Happiness is not always having a smile on your face, but a complete understanding of self and the surrounding. Achieving this kind of happiness that I have described, true happiness, will lead you on a path of assured success. It is a powerful realization. One that is synonymous with understanding yourself and everything around you. I think that meditation is a great tool for attaining this universal consciousness. Reading and being open minded are another set of great tools. Whatever you choose to do on your journey is up to you, just know that anything is possible if you wish it so.

http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/four-principles-happiness/