A group of
alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old
university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in
work and life.
Offering his
guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot
of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some
plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves
to the coffee.
When all the
students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed,
all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the
plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for
yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.
Be assured
that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just
more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you
really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best
cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider
this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups.
They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does
not define, nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating
only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee.
Savor the
coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care
deeply. Speak kindly.
Universe
has always been abundant. There is enough conclusive evidence of this around
us. Look around and you will find that nature is lavish and extravagant.
Abundance is the fundamental law of the nature
The
world population was one billion in the year 1800 and it is over seven billion
today, and is expected to keep growing. All these seven billion people are
living, surviving and thriving on the same earth. We have witnessed increase of
food grains production, abundant availability of material utilities, better
comforts and overall prosperity despite the increase of population. There is
enough of food, clothing and other facilities for the increasing population.
Abundance is all around us
We
see increase of resources available to us everywhere. In our life time, we have
seen increasing salary levels of individuals, increasing revenue turnover of
businesses and increasing GDP of countries. Every country is setting up new
power plants, new steel plants, new cement plants, new automobile plants, new
manufacturing units, new mines etc.
We
see setting up of new companies, we see construction of new buildings,
factories, cities, highways, flyovers, railway tracks every day. The need for
resources and raw materials is ever increasing. Where from more and more raw
materials and resources are coming? All this is happening because universe is
expanding to fulfill the needs and desires of human race.
Nature has abundant supply of resources
Nature
is an inexhaustible source and the supply will never run short. When the soil
is exhausted of nutrients, it will be renewed or more soil will be made, when
building materials are exhausted more will be produced, when all the metal ores
have been exhausted, more will be produced..
Nature
is extravagant and lavish and we see manifestation of profusion in everything.
Millions of plants, trees and animals keep on reproducing continuously. This
indicates nature’s lavishness. We can easily see that there is an abundance for
everyone, but many of us fail to participate in this abundance. We do not
realize that mind is the active principle which connects us to the things we
desire.
Relationship of abundance with Law of
Attraction
Thoughts
of abundance respond to similar thoughts. Affluence within us and all around us
is the secret of law of attraction. It is this inexhaustible source of supply
of prosperity in our material life.
Why people are not rich
Human
race collectively is abundantly rich. If certain individuals are poor, it is
because they live in a state of fear and lack. They are afraid to ask for what
they want, and they don’t believe that they can get it. They are not aware of
the concept of universal abundance. Either they are not applying properly the
Law of Attraction or not applying it at all.
Why with Law of Attraction fails to bring in
Abundance
People
ask for what they want when they are desperate, or they ask on a pleading note
without believing what they are asking for will be granted. They tend to focus
far more on what they don’t have rather than what they do have. Too many people
trap themselves into poverty because they simply don’t understand the infinity
of the universe. What people focus on is what they always attract into their
lives.
How
to attract Abundance in Life
How to attract Abundance in Life
Here
are a few powerful tips, which you must follow if you want to attract abundance
in your life.
1.To attract abundance in our
lives we need to conquer impoverishment buried deep within. This creates
blockages and restricts the smooth flow of abundant supplies to us.
2.Resolve to change your
habitual pattern of thinking here and now. The stream of plenty flows to the
expectant mind which is open for receiving abundance.
3.Allow abundance to flow into
your life, master the art of receiving it and do not hold on to your money too
tightly. When you hold to your money too tightly, you give money power over
you. This leads to generation of scarcity thoughts in your mind and this in
turn interferes with the flow of abundance of money in your life.
4.To attract in your life what
you want, focus on what you do have, or what you want to have with the
underlying feelings of abundance and not scarcity.
5.Universal abundance is not a
zero sum game. This is the other aspect of abundance of the universe. It means
that when you get more, someone else doesn’t get less. When someone else gets
more, you don’t get less. Universal pie is ever increasing and expanding in
endless cycles. Therefore, do not be jealous of others’ progress and
prosperity. Do not desire more in comparison with others. Just seek what you
want.
6.Be clear of what you want in
specific terms, believe that you are worthy of it and can get it, believe in
the abundance of the universe, express gratitude for what you already have,
maintain focus on your desire and work for it in a planned manner.
Materialization of your desire is sure.
Practice
these well tried and proven methods and bring in Abundance, Prosperity and
Money and Happiness in your life.
Would it not be a nice feeling to
imagine that even when you are not in job (retired) or not so active (if self
employed professional) that you are enjoying same standard of living and
comforts of life which you can afford when at the peak of your career.
Well it need not be a wishful
thinking anymore. Believe you me you can retire a wealthy man if you decide to
take action from this moment onward and work systematically towards your goal.
There is not much difference between a few people who retire rich and wealthy
on one side and on the other side many people who retire with a limited amount
of corpus (mostly savings, retirement bonus etc.). It hardly needs to be
emphasized that good things don’t happen by accident. Therefore, there is a
systematic planning and execution of the same to keep one’s life comfortable
and without the worry of money or of the need of cutting on spending.
Here are a few simple but effective
steps you need to work on:
Save
Money Regularly
Saving money is much easier than you think! In simple terms
it is spending less than what you earn. Many financial planners and investment
advisers recommend a certain percentage which you should save from your salary
or professional income every month. But it may not be possible to follow
exactly as prescribed, because your income, needs, responsibilities and
lifestyle is unique and cannot be generalized.
Some golden rules regarding saving money
Save Money Early – Retire Wealthy
Start Saving
Money Early
Ideally you should start saving from your first job itself.
Resist the temptation to buy everything you have wanted to buy all these years.
Go slow, don’t be impulsive and plan your purchases. The advantages of starting
savings early in your career are that you may form a bigger corpus when you
retire compared to a late start of savings. Of course, this may mean
sacrificing some of the comforts. Let’s say you’re 24 years old and can manage
to put away only $100 a month into your savings cum investment fund. Assuming
that you manage to earn an average of 8 percent on your savings and
investments, you’ll be at about – $463,000 approximately – by age 69.
Interestingly, you only have to save and invest only $54,000 over that 45-year
period! Also it is quite possible that as the progresses, you shall keep aside
bigger amount every month and you may even retire with one million dollars.
If you start
late, make up for lost time
Maybe for some reason or the other you could not start your
savings in 20s or even in 30s, don’t give up. You can keep aside a bigger some
every month for your retirement fund to catch-up. Of course, it would mean
creating a budgetary plan and following it seriously. In fact, whenever you
earn some unexpected income, don’t blow it up. Rather let it go to your
retirement account.
Earn extra
Let us go back to the simple mathematical equation Income –
Spending = Savings. There is a clear message in this. Just cutting down on the
expenditure is not the only solution to increasing your savings.
That means you have to look for ways to increase your
income. Don’t just keep yourself glued to that job or a single income. You need
to maximize your earnings potential.
In case you cannot find an opportunity with your existing
qualifications then go grab some skills which let you earn some extra cash such
as online marketing, website designing, online teaching which you can do from
the comfort of your home and after hours too.
Find a higher
paying career
Suppose you are unhappy with your present job or think that
your earning potential is much more then pick up an additional qualification or
hone your skill sets by taking an additional training. After equipping yourself
with additional degree or skill or qualification, you may go in for a change of
job and / or change of career line – where you are paid a better salary.
However, keep in mind that regardless of which option you
choose, don’t go in for something very fancy or expensive which makes you get
into debt trap.
Invest Wisely
In case your style is more
aggressive and you consider yourself to be more ambitious then are here are a
few more time tested suggestions to retire with a bigger corpus of funds and a
good regular income for life time:
Invest in Real
Estate
The general rule is that everything can be produced in a
factory except the land. With the every passing day, the demand for land
increases, whereas the supply is either stagnant or limited. Hence over a period
of time, the price per unit of land increases and so does the cost of real
estate or the property.
In other words, the price you may pay for the purchase of
property will increase many times over after a decade or two or three. The
graph will always move upwards. But there could be seasonal variations due to
many factors – economic, political, infrastructure related. Also there are
bound to be some regular cycles of boom and recession. It is these cycles which
you need to understand well. Recognize the recession period when you can buy a
home or office or a piece of land cheap.
Logically, you should live in your first property (unless you are in some other
town or are living in an accommodation provided by your employers) and
subsequent properties should be rented out.
This option should give you regular extra income as well as
an appreciation to your investment letting you to retire wealthy.
Stay informed
about your investments
Keep a tab on all your investments. Periodically, assess and
evaluate how each investment is doing. Keep yourself informed of your
political-social-economic-financial indicators which may affect directly or
indirectly. In case you find that a particular investment in not performing
well then switch to something better before it is too late!
Don’t put all
your eggs in one basket
Of course, you are not such a dumb investor. But sometimes,
a hectic schedule or a sweet talking investment adviser or procrastination
habit may land you in such a situation. So let this act as a reminder and be a
smart investor instead! Research thoroughly the available investment options
and the financial instruments.
Primarily
money is a medium or means of exchange. And it is a means of economic
activities. Nothing more! We use money to trade what we have for what we want.
We
all want money, we work for it and think about it. Some of us chase it
frantically. While the creation and growth of money seems somewhat intangible,
money is the means of getting the things we need and want. In modern times
money has become a vehicle of human life.
When
I think about money, several questions come to my mind. Different people have
different opinions about money. What are your views about money?
Do
you think money does everything for us?
Is
there something wrong in having money?
Can
you serve others if you are leading a life of lack and limitations?
Money
is a means and it is neutral in itself. Whatever is the pattern of your life,
money will just enhance it. If you have money and you are happy, you will
become more happy. If you have money and you are unhappy, you will become more
unhappy because you will not know what to do with your money.
Money and Spirituality
Money
and spirituality are not antagonistic. In my view money is not a paper bill
only, it an intangible spiritual thing. It is as neutral and as spiritual as
anything else in the world. Money and spirituality can be wonderful partners.
We have to understand the nature of their partnership and let it flourish in
our lives. We can use this beautiful partnership for our own growth and
fulfillment, and that of the others around us.
Our
spirituality is primarily determined by our conduct, our contribution to the
growth of others and our obedience to God, and not whether we are rich or poor.
Myths about Money
People have different myths
about money in different parts of the world. Let us discuss some common myths.
1. Money is the root of all evil.
2. Rich people are greedy.
3. Rich people are materialistic. They worship money.
4. Rich people are not spiritual.
5. If you get lot of money, money will change you into a bad person.
6. The only way to have more money is to deprive others of it.
7. To become wealthy you have to give up time that should be spent with family
or for spiritual pursuits.
8. Desire for money or wealth is a sin.
9. Good people give away their extra money.
10. Money isn’t everything.
If you want to align your
mind to wealth creation, dump these negative myths and look at some other
perspectives.
Other Perspectives about our
relationship with money
Our
relationship with Money
Money
is not the root of all evil. Money in itself is a neutral thing. How far is it
practical to work for free? There has to be a healthy exchange of energy.
Have
you ever studied the causes of crimes in the world? The causes of evil are lack
of money or obsession for money. One should not be possessive about money, but
should be able to use it wisely.
It is
not the creation of wealth that is wrong, but the love of money for its own
sake.
-
Margaret Thatcher
If
you want to be of service to others, if you want to live a life of purpose and
deep spiritual meaning, how well can you do it if you lack money and a large
part of your time and energy is being spent to make both ends meet? When you
are struggling hard to meet your own basic needs, you have less time, energy,
inspiration and money to pursue spiritual goals and help others.
Therefore,
desiring to be rich and wealthy is not a sin. It is our purpose that determines
whether our desire to be rich and wealthy is a noble desire or otherwise. We
are in a better position to help others if we are financially well positioned
ourselves. The key lies in balance. Let money remain your servant. Do not allow
it to become your master, do not allow it to control you.
Money
is a personality magnifier. It brings out the true person within you. If you
are a selfish and nasty person by nature, having money will make you even more
nasty and selfish. However, if you are a kind, generous and loving person deep
down inside, money will magnify your goodness. Money helps you to maximize
other important values such as family, career, health, spirituality and
relationships.
It is
possible to be a billionaire and yet very peaceful and spiritually aware. Put
your idealism aside and think honestly – what your real views about money are.
If you are a spiritual person by nature, money will allow you to do more of
God’s work. You will touch the lives of many people and help them to grow. It
is a known fact that many of the wealthiest people in the world are extremely
spiritual. Many truly wealthy people believe they are just the custodian’s of
God’s wealth and they don’t own this money. Wealthy people actually create more
wealth for other people. Bill Gates, the richest man in the world, has created
maximum value for others by creating Windows and Microsoft.
The
three things which we all desire and which are necessary for our highest
expression and complete development are Love, Health and Wealth.
Therefore,
we need to live for all three – mind, body and soul. Real life means harmony
among mind, body and soul, and their complete expression. The use of material
things helps us to achieve this harmony and expression of our being.
In conclusion
Acquiring
money in itself is a spiritual and fulfilling endeavour. More so when you spend
a significant part of your money for helping others. There is nothing wrong in
being rich and wealthy, as long as you do not neglect other areas of your life
such as your conduct, health, family, spiritual pursuits.
Universe
is abundant. There is inexhaustible supply of resources and money for
everybody. God does not want us to be impoverished and lead a life of lack and
scarcity. On the contrary he wants us to enjoy a prosperous life.
Life: the one thing in the universe that holds true
intrinsic value. It perplexes me when someone is willing to give up on it.
People commit suicide each and every day – not only the type of suicide that
stops the beating heart. People choose to stop living more regularly than you’d
expect.
Losing the will to live is, unfortunately, common: It not
only afflicts those who find themselves in difficult situations, but also those
who seem to have everything they could possibly ask for. Living life happily
isn’t as easy as it should be, but I’m sorry to say that is our very own fault
and no one else’s.
Sure, life will throw you curveballs almost religiously,
but whether you choose to swing the bat or walk back to the bench is entirely
up to you. Life isn’t supposed to be entirely pleasant – it never will be, for
anyone ever. You will always find yourself pushing ahead against resistance and
that will never change. If it feels like things get easier as you get older,
it’s only because you aren’t pushing as hard as you used to.
Hopefully, this is because you’ve managed to achieve all
those things you hoped for in life. It’s possible – you can have your cake and
eat it, too. You can have a better life. You can be happier. It’s
attainable for every person in the world with a healthy body and mind.
Moreover, giving up on life is literally the most
illogical thing a person could ever do. If you’re giving up on your life then
I’m afraid you’re one of the dumbest people on the planet. Here’s why:
1. This may be all there is.
Put your religious faith aside for a minute and consider
the numbers. What are the chances that your religion has it right? What are the
chances that the information we are still missing in the realm of science is
likely to prove your religious beliefs true – to prove that there is life after
death?
I don’t want to get into a religious debate, but no
matter what you believe, you have to accept the fact that you might have it
wrong. Your ancient text might have it wrong. This may actually be all the
living that you will ever experience. You can believe what you like, but facts
are facts. Just as it can’t (yet) be proven that there is a God, there can’t
(yet) be proven that there isn’t one.
Don’t take a gamble and live the one life you have
half-assed, assuming that you’ll do better in your afterlife, or second life,
or whatever the heck you think happens after you die. The truth is that the
numbers aren’t in your favor. Consider that for a second before you keep
wasting your life.
2. There is always – and I mean always – a solution
to any problem.
It may not be the solution you are looking for, but it
will get the job done. The trick is coming up with that solution. How you come
up with that depends on you and the problem itself. However, knowing that there
is a solution to any problem that you may have should come as a relief.
Problems have the uncanny ability to make us feel
hopeless, trapped. But you aren’t trapped; there is a solution. There is a way
out of your predicament – your situation. You just need to spend some time
figuring out what you need to do in order to get to where you want to be.
Laziness is a poor excuse to give up on living.
3. Success is inevitable for those who are smart
and don’t give up.
In theory, achieving success is rather simple. You have a
goal or a destination you want to reach. You have a path or direction of
getting there. The only thing you need to do is keep moving in that direction
until you get where you need to go. Of course, the path that you’ll need to
take will involve a lot of trial and error, a lot of dead ends and U-turns.
What you need to keep in mind is that all those mistakes
you make along the way are necessary for you to get to where you need to be.
It’s really the mistakes that we can’t succeed without because it’s the
mistakes that teach us necessary lessons. Be smart and learn from your
mistakes. Keep forging ahead. You can’t fail.
4. A helping hand can always be found if needed.
I know that it can often seem appealing to go about life
on your lonesome. It can often be the smarter choice. However, there do come
times in our lives when we need others in order to get to the next chapter.
Such individuals can be found – you just have to be willing to look in places
that you wouldn’t expect.
People can often surprise us once we get to know them. We
just have to be willing to get to know them. Mutually beneficial relationships
are what actually make the world go round. Without them, it would be a much
more cutthroat world than it already is.
5. What gives life meaning is the struggle that we
live through.
I know it may seem silly at the moment, but consider how
your life would be if you never had to struggle with anything, ever. Imagine if
everything you wanted would just fall at your feet – you never have to work
hard for anything in your life. It seems like a dream come true. Until you
realize how incredibly boring such a life really is.
As human beings, we need to feel challenged. We need to
feel that we have accomplished something and the only way to feel as if you
have accomplished something is by having to struggle in order to get there.
Without struggle, life wouldn’t be worth living.
You’ll one day look back at your life and look back at
all your struggles with a smile. Some you surely overcame and others you likely
didn’t, but you’re smiling because you’re still alive and breathing. You’re
stronger than you know.
6. You are capable of having full control over your
reality.
Your life is what you perceive it to be and nothing else.
All you experience in life, all the things you do, all the things you see, all
the things you live through, all of that only has meaning if you give it
meaning. Otherwise, it’s nothing more than a blink in time. Because so little
has meaning outside of us, you can choose to give meaning to whatever you’d
like.
More importantly, you can choose to accept that certain
things in life are completely meaningless and deserve none of your attention or
worry. It may seem difficult to imagine yourself having such control over your
reality and your life – it’s not easy – but with practice, it’s possible.
7. There is a purpose for each of us waiting to be
found.
But that purpose isn’t somewhere out there in the world.
It’s inside of you. You need to take time to explore what you believe holds
importance in life. What exactly that entails is up to you, but know that it is
there to be found.
To live is to be capable of creating change. What you
want to change and how you want to change it is what defines your life and the
person you are.
To activate our happiness in a simple, fast and effective
way, all we have to do is just be happy for fifteen seconds. It's easy! Each of
us is able to do so at any time. Fifteen seconds are affordable for any person.
Let's do it when we feel good and when we feel no good; when we are happy and
when we are no happy; when we are awake and when we are no awake.
The best time, however, is when we feel that no happiness
is taking or has already taken possession of us. This is the perfect moment of
choice and transformation that changes the world. Here and now, for fifteen
seconds, we wedge happiness in our being and are happy. And those fifteen
seconds pull another fifteen for sure, because to be happy, as constant
dimension of awareness, is more beautiful than to be no happy.
It's true that no happiness has a romantic charm, but
it's also true that it's pleasant for a ride every now and then, before coming
back to our present state of permanent happiness. All emotions are beautiful,
enjoyable and existing, and this simply means that there are emotions,
regardless of reasons, meanings and labels that we can add to them. Emotion, in
its complex variety of manifestation, is also part of what is.
When we feel an emotion, which is a component of the
universal, it comes as a wave of energy that passes through us, flowing into
the inner space of our consciousness, overwhelming, activating, neutralizing
and eating us. But it's a flow, and if we let it pass, it comes and goes. If it
remains, it's because we cling to it, we identify with it, we become part of it
and we let ourselves be carried away by it. And if we do, it is because we love
it.
Who does not like emotions? We all love emotions! We like
to try them out and be possessed; we clone and evoke and deny them when they're
too intense. The point is to ride them and not to be ridden, simply because, if
that happens, we lose the rest of the cosmic show with all its other wonders
that come and go. The maximum fun is to enjoy them, when they pass through,
without wanting to take possession and then be able to identify.
Consciously, activate your happiness as soon as you wake
up, when you feel you need it and when you feel you don't. Elevate your energy
and feel good, even if your current community fashion is the one of no
happiness. To those asking you why you're happy, you can always say that being
happy is better than being no happy. Only fifteen seconds of happiness and we
are able to leap completely, and in a moment, to the dimension we like the most
and always chase, that of happiness. Dr. Andrea Scarsi is a
metaphysician, meditation teacher, and author devoting his life to sharing the
supreme understanding through direct teaching and books he writes on the
subject of spirituality. He's based in Italy and India, and moves around the
world when invited or following a universal call. You can check out one of his
websites at: The Secret Of Metaphysical Science, where he indicates simple and
everyday ways to happily establish your daily spiritual practice.
You
can have all the knowledge in the world, but it means nothing without building
up the confidence to do something with it.
Two decades ago, when the bullies at
our high school called her a nerd for being a virgin and a straight-A student,
my best friend Sara smiled and confidently said, “Thank you. I’m really
proud of it.” She honestly was. What those bullies said never
bothered her one bit. And this is just one tiny example of Sara’s
incredible self-confidence.
I was reminded of Sara this morning
when I received an email from a blog subscribernamed Lane who is
struggling with a similar bullying issue at a small community college where
he’s taking classes. After describing his predicament in detail, he ended
his email with this:
“I love your book and blog.
Both have helped me get through a very low point in my life. But even
though I’ve made progress, I often struggle with my self-confidence.
These bullies really get the best of me. And I know my shattered
confidence is really taking a toll on me. Therefore, what I need now more
than ever is to learn how to walk in a more confident person’s footsteps, by
changing the behaviors that kill my confidence.”
So, pulling from a decade of
experience as a life coach, in an effort to help Lane walk more closely Sara’s
footsteps, here are some toxic, confidence-killing behaviors to avoid:
Getting caught up in lots of needless drama. – Some people love to stir up controversy and drama
for no apparent reason. Don’t buy in to their propaganda. Stay
out of other people’s drama and don’t needlessly create your own.
Instead, imagine what would happen if you spent this entire day, and every
day hereafter, with all your energy directed toward your most positive possibilities.
Rather than being annoyed, be amused. Instead of getting angry,
become curious. In place of envy, feel admiration. Life is too
short to argue, fight or be negative in any way. Count your
blessings, value the people who matter and move on from the drama with
your head held high.
Seeking approval from everyone around you. – Confident people have no interest in pleasing
everyone they meet. They are aware that not all people agree on
things, and that’s just how life works. They focus on the quality of
their relationships, instead of the quantity of them. So never let
the opinions of the masses define who you are or what you can or can’t
do. When you let go of the need to impress everyone, that’s when you
begin to be truly impressive to the few people who actually matter.
And when you earn the trust and respect of these select few people, no
matter where you go or what you try, you will do it with confidence –
because you know the people who matter are behind you.
Making excuse after excuse after excuse. – Have a plan that’s bigger than your excuses.
There is so very much to touch, to do, to create, and to experience.
Confident people take ownership of their thoughts and actions. They
don’t blame the traffic for being tardy at work – they know THEY were
late. They don’t excuse their shortcomings with excuses like “I
don’t have time” or “I’m just not good enough” – they make the time and
they keep on improving until they see results. Even a tiny effort is
infinitely more productive than a big, impressive excuse. So stop
seeing every obstacle as an excuse and start seeing those obstacles as
forming a pathway to your goals. (Read The Last Lecture.)
Ignoring or second-guessing your intuition. – Intuition is very real and something that is never
wise to ignore, because it comes from deep within your subconscious and is
derived from your previous life experiences. If everyone else is
telling you “yes” but your gut is telling you otherwise, it’s usually for
a good reason. When faced with difficult decisions, seek out all the
information you can find, become as knowledgeable as you possibly can, and
then listen to your God-given instincts. Believe in yourself.
Know that trusting your intuition is equivalent to trusting your true self;
and the more you trust your true self, the more control you have of making
your goals and dreams come true.
Disempowering yourself with weak language. – Confident people use words with intention.
Consider the difference between these two aspiring bloggers: One
says, “Yes, I am a blogger. You like meditation and yoga too?
Excellent! We need to connect – check out my new mindfulness guide I
just posted at…” vs. “Well, I am trying to blog but am not sure I am doing
it right (nervous giggle). I wish I had started sooner… blah,
blah.” Who do you think gets the most views, comments and social
shares? Bottom line: If you’re trying to build something or
become something, own it and speak like you mean it. (Angel and I
discuss this in detail in the “Passion and Growth” chapter of 1,000
Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
Thinking, “Why me? Why me?” – On the contrary, confident people think, “Why not
me?” Sadly though, many people feel they have to wait: to be hired,
to be good enough, to be chosen – like the old Hollywood cliché, to
somehow be “discovered.” But confident people know that access is
basically universal these days (especially if you’re online reading this
article). They can connect with almost anyone through social
media. (Everyone you know knows someone you should know.) They
know they can attract their own funding, create their own products and services,
build their own networks of clients and partners, choose their own path –
they can choose to follow their dreams. And very quietly, without
calling too much attention to themselves, they go out and do it.
Needing to always be right. – Confident people take a stand not because they
think they’re always right, but because they’re not scared to be
wrong. Cocky, conceited people tend to take a position and then
preach, argue, and totally disregard differing opinions or points of
view. They “know” they’re right (even when they’re wrong) and they
want (actually, they need) you to know it too. Their behavior isn’t
a sign of confidence, though; it’s the trademark of a bully. Truly
confident people don’t mind being proven wrong. They know that
finding out what is right is a lot more important than being right.
And when they’re wrong, they’re secure enough to back down graciously and
appreciate the lesson learned.
Talking just to hear yourself talk. – Begging for attention by talking constantly is just
another mask for insecurity. Thus, confident people are often quiet
and unassuming, and they listen as much if not more than they speak.
They already know what they think, so they want to know what you
think. Follow in their footsteps by asking open-ended questions on
the topic of discussion, and give others the freedom to be thoughtful,
introspective and resourceful. Ask questions like: What do you
do? How do you do it? What have you learned from it?
What would you do differently if you were starting over? And so forth.
Ask these questions to learn, because you know a lot, but not everything,
and the only way to learn more is to listen more. (Read What
Got You Here Won’t Get You There.)
Letting success get to your head or failure get to your
heart. – If success makes you
arrogant, you haven’t really succeeded. If failure makes you
determined, you haven’t really failed. Period. Think about
success and failure differently. Don’t take everything that goes
wrong personally, and don’t get a big head when everything goes right
either. Be a humble, life-long learner. Create, enjoy, learn,
love, experience, succeed, fail, persevere, make mistakes, make progress,
take risks, and find the treasure in each day.
Hiding from new life experiences. – Get out there. Let life touch you. Yes,
it will hurt sometimes. But the pain will be much deeper if you
build an impenetrable wall around yourself – your own 100-foot tall wall
of comfort – your own self-inflicted prison sentence. Life is too
short for that. Don’t let the fear of making the wrong decision
prevent you from making any decision at all. You have too many
beautiful places to go. Today is full of possibility. Now, do
something about it.
Afterthoughts
If you only remember two words from
this whole article, let them be: “Learn” and “Believe.”
Learn: As in… learn through experience. Learn from
others. Remain humble, open-minded and teachable. Put yourself out
there and let it all sink it. Push yourself to the edge of your comfort
zone, so you can expand it and grow a little more confident every day.
Believe: As in… believe in yourself and your ability to
succeed. Believe in your intuition, especially when you have to choose
between two good paths. Believe that the answers are out there
waiting. Believe that life will surprise you again and again.
Believe that the journey is the destination. Believe that it’s all worth
your while. Believe that you are confident enough to see it through.
The
floor is yours…
Which of the points above resonate
with you the most? Do you have any other tips for building
self-confidence? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and
insights with us.
